Goal Setting

There’s an old joke about a newly married couple thinking of the life they will have together. They foresee having children, the children growing up, going away to school, getting married, leaving them alone. Before they know it they’re crying and missing these children they don’t even have yet. Silly, but perhaps there’s something to be learned here. Parents need to think about what they really want for their children. Of course, we all want health, happiness, education and a satisfying adult life for our children. But, we all know adults whose parents wanted these things for their children, but who somehow got to be adults who are not very happy with their jobs, their marriages, even their children. Is there something we can do to make it more likely for these goals to be met? Should the goals be more specific? What might such a list of goals look like? Here are some...

• Children who are peaceful, fun-loving, compassionate, generous, helpful, interested, trustworthy, and fit;
• children who love learning;
• children who take positions of leadership early on;
• children who remember their school experiences fondly;
• children who love their country;
• children who love to sing;
• children who have the opportunity to experience nature in all its wonder;
• children who respect their teachers and their parents because it is deserved, not because they fear them;
• children who take responsibility not only for themselves, but see their part in school, community, civic, and social situations as well;
• children who find ways to be useful and serve their family, school and community;
• children who accept a challenge;
• children who are active rather than passive;
• children who are curious;
• children who persevere when things don't go well;
• children who ask for help when it's needed, and decline it when it is not;
• children who are independent and can think for themselves now, even when they are two or three years old, and not have to wait 'till "they're bigger";
• children who will work for peace wherever it is absent.

Ah, you say. Easy to make such a list. But how does one go about helping their children accomplish these goals? Certainly, one must look for every opportunity and offer encouragement. But, perhaps the most effective way is through our own example as
parents. We must:

• model appropriate behavior;
• practice what we preach;
• volunteer at school, at church, in our community;
• speak positively of school and society;
• vote in every election;
• sing and listen to music;
• know the names of local birds, flowers and trees, and spend at least one night each year out in a tent;
• speak well of each other;
• understand that respect must be earned and is not a right that comes with our position;
• stop when we see someone who needs help, donate to charities regularly, and be good neighbors;
• do rather than talk ;
• ask questions and seek answers;
• not give up;
• admit mistakes;
• trust our children and believe they learn by doing, not by hearing;
• be able to stand back and let our children make small mistakes;
  
• and consciously endeavor to be peacemakers.

Can we make guarantees? No. But what powerful tools we give our children through the example of such a lifestyle.