Sanity in the Morning

In the October issue of Real Simple, there is an article on how to get through the morning with your children. It features a series of vignettes from different families with different challenges. It asks the reader to imagine her morning hours: calm, peaceful and productive. And, they claim, it’s no pipe dream. One Mom’s motto is making the morning fun. After years of pleading with her children to get up and get ready, she settled on something that works. She bought two giant wheels of carnival tickets and made up the rules of the game. The first boy up, dressed and with teeth brushed, got a “premiun” ticket. The first to report to the kitchen gets a ticket. Then, on Sunday, they get to trade tickets for small prizes she has purchased. If there is extra time, they sit on the front porch together. There’s a photo of the boys on skate boards, mom and dad on the stoop, and the girl, drinking a glass of milk.

In another vignette, a mom spent years struggling with two boys who wanted different things for breakfast, or having to urge them to set something substantial. Eventually together with her boys, they created a list of daily specials (waffles, eggs, miso soup, etc.) and posted it on the kitchen wall. The kitchen is open from 6:15 to 6:45 each weekday morning. Like in any restaurant, the boys must follow house rules to get service. No pajamas, and a good attitude. Once breakfast is finished, the boys bus the table, pour leftover water into the houseplants, and scatter crusts for the quail in the yard. Then they gather their books and are off to school.

Another mom likens her morning to a “well-organized three ring circus. Everyone has a job to do and a role to play. At night, the children lay out their school clothes for the next day, including hair ties, and pack their school bags with books, homework, signed permission sheets, etc. Then they line them up, unzipped by the door so that lunches can be added. If lunch is forgotten, the consequence is cafeteria food which they all dislike. Before bedtime, one of the children sets the table for breakfast and puts a vitamin at each place. In the morning, after waking to their own alarm clocks, the children have 15 minutes to wash up, dress and make their beds. If they are not down promptly, they get a protein bar or a banana. That only happened once. After
breakfast, two of the girls empty the dishwasher and clear the table.

Still another mother got tired of nagging every morning. So she sets timers. She has nine timers set around the house, for the two older boys. Her youngest daughter usually sleeps right through the timers. Now, everybody knows how much time they have. When necessary, she calmly says ‘The timer went off.”

It would be interesting to take a look in a few months to see what’s still working. Which do you think is more effective? Whose children will benefit in the long-run? Which moms are putting out little fires and which moms are preparing their children for the future? Which moms are feeding their children and which moms are teaching their children to fish?